


Tapped

by ladydragon76



Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers Generation One
Genre: M/M, Rating: PG-13, character: jazz, character: starscream, genre: crack, genre: humor, verse: g1
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-30
Updated: 2015-07-30
Packaged: 2018-04-12 00:31:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4458434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladydragon76/pseuds/ladydragon76
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><b>Summary:</b> Jazz is dared to tap dat.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tapped

**Author's Note:**

  * For [JoulesBurn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/JoulesBurn/gifts).



> **‘Verse:** G1  
>  **Series:** None  
>  **Rating:** PG-13  
>  **Characters:** Jazz/Starscream  
>  **Warnings:** Drunken shenanigans  
>  **Notes:** A prompt from joules_burn. The request can be found **[here](http://ladydragon76.livejournal.com/191244.html?thread=3070476#t3070476) **.
> 
> **The Prompt:** _Jazz/?? - Bet you can't tap that!_

Jazz snuck into the _Victory_ via his usual means and made for Starscream’s lab. A dare was a dare after all, and while he’d only sobered a little on his quick trip out over the ocean -Thanks, Skyfire!- he was still entirely too drunk to entertain the notion that this was a Bad Idea. Later, it would probably be logged as a serious charge of misconduct, but that was only if Prowl found out, and Skyfire had promised not to tell. Of course, he was drunkenly flying in circles far overhead, so time would tell on that one too. Mech was a good spark, really. He took the teasing about being Starscream’s _partner_ with good humor, then proceeded to glitch a fair few processors with the truth.

Starscream was notorious for being hard to seduce, so it was quite an accomplishment that Skyfire had.

According to Skyfire.

Jazz and the other Autobots had about blown something laughing very hard indeed as they had always heard quite a different tale. So Jazz had been snorted at and told he should try it if he thought it was so easy.

So into the lab Jazz did creep. That was the most likely place to find Starscream in the evenings, and with the time difference, it was only about eight there at the _Victory_. Hardly bedtime for evil Decepticons plotting to take over the galaxy.

“Primus, I can smell you from way over there,” Starscream said, then turned to face Jazz. “Of course, the personal theme song gave you away three corridors ago.” He eyed Jazz for a moment, then sighed. “Why are you here?”

Jazz blinked. They knew he was here? “Why no alarms?”

“Because Frenzy and Rumble are on monitor duty and they want to see why you’re here,” the Seeker replied as he wiped his hands clean of whatever he was doing.

“Oh.” Hm. Jazz clearly needed to get drunk more often and run drills. He should be better than three corridors.

“So?” Starscream demanded, then wrinkled up his nose. “Why _are_ you here? And why do you smell like you fell into a vat of high grade?”

“I’m drunk,” Jazz announced. “And we got ta talkin’ about ya.” Wait, he needed to keep this complimentary! “Sexy wings. Good flyin’. Ya know. Lots wanna tap that.”

“Tap…? Oh, Primus,” Starscream groaned. “Let’s skip right past how immoral it would be to interface with you right now, and on to why you thought I would be willing?”

Jazz shrugged and sauntered over to perch on a stool. “Sexy. So. Ya wanna?”

Starscream blinked, then checked the ping to his comms. It was nothing but Rumble and Frenzy laughing so hysterically that the Seeker considered sending a text-only to Soundwave to check on them. “Not right now?” he answered, but it came out sounding more like a question.

“Oh.” Jazz deflated and teetered on the stool he’d tripped over and managed to park himself -mostly- on. For a moment there was nothing, and Starscream wondered if the fool was going to pass out on him, then he perked up. “Can I lie and say we did?”

Starscream blinked again, then bit back a laugh. “Will it get you out of this base before Megatron discovers you’re here and asks me why I’ve not yet locked you up?”

The Autobot considered for a moment, then nodded. Then nearly fell off the stool. “Yeah. Thanks!”

Then Jazz promptly went limp and hit the floor like a sack of loose parts.

“ _That was epic!_ ” Frenzy hooted over the comms.

Starscream sighed and went to pick up the drunken idiot. “Just get the tower up, log me as going for a wing-stretch, and keep your entertainment to yourselves. I’m sure I don’t need to remind you what Megatron would think of this?”

“ _Yeah, yeah, Screamer. We got this,_ ” Rumble replied.

~

Standing in front of the _Ark_ and a dozen drunk Autobots was the highlight of Starscream’s vorn, he decided. Blue optics were all over-bright and wide enough that he was surprised that the lenses weren’t just falling out of their faces. Jazz hung limp and snoring in his arms.

“Your pretty friend,” Starscream crooned. “I’m afraid I exhausted him.”

“I knew I forgot something!” Skyfire slurred, then promptly dropped to his aft on the ground. “Oops.”

“What is going on out here?!” Prowl demanded and shoved past a snickering and clearly cratered Optimus Prime.

Starscream stepped forward and deposited the snoring mech in the cop-bot’s arms. “When he wakes, tell him I had a lovely time. Though since I did the… tapping… I hope that still wins him his bet.” The Seeker smiled sweetly as the Autobots gasped, then cheered for the unconscious Jazz. // _He’s unmolested,_ // Starscream commed to Prowl. // _Mind your idiots more carefully in the future. Megatron was… busy himself tonight, or this could have gone quite badly._ //

Prowl’s optics flickered, but his chin dipped in a nod. // _Thank you_.//

Starscream tilted his helm, cast the Autobot audience a pleased smirk, then launched. He wished he could claim Jazz owed him, but this had been far too fun to hold as a debt.


End file.
